4 Signs To Understand That Past Traumas Are Affecting Your Current Relationship

Living through disturbing events during your childhood days could lead to a constant sense of stress, fear, and betrayal, affecting your new relationship with your partner.

Taking to Instagram, Elaine Evans, Trauma and Relationship therapist, talked about how your past life traumas could be affecting your current relationships. “Your past experiences might be holding you back from showing up as your best self in relationships, it does NOT have to stay that way!” she wrote in the caption.

What are the signs?

• Lack of Trust:People dealing with past traumas find it difficult to trust their partners. Setting boundaries or leaving relationships are all behaviours of issues affected by a lack of trust in a relationship.
• Having Unrealistic Expectations:Your past traumas could lead to unrealistic expectations from your partner which could hamper your relationship. This could also lead to numerous arguments with your partner. Unmet expectations in a relationship could also make one feel anxious.
• Overthinking Issues:Many relationships get over due to overthinking problems. These traumas can erupt due to past experiences. It begins during childhood, if a person feels neglected, rejected, or stays in an abusive environment.
• Neediness:You might feel clingy all the time, and need constant reassurance and validation from your partner, even if your relationship is going completely smoothly. This might make your partner feel irritated.

Elaine wrote in one of her posts, “But when we avoid healing trauma a few things happen:

“Self-esteem remains low, and relationships are an exhausting experience of either trying to be enough or trying to not be with someone who is too “needy” – emotions often get the best of us, leading to failed relationships or self-sabotaging behaviours”

• Jealousy Factor: Although having a little jealousy in a relationship might be good, past traumas can make a person feel jealous very easily. The person would require his partner’s time and attention all the time.
• Negative perception: Traumas affect the way we see the world including our partner. A traumatic person might always have negative thoughts about his partner which could hinder their relationship.
• Lack of interest: One of the most common signs due to past traumas is that the person tends to lose interest in doing fun activities with their partner including sex.